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Making the move, celebrating the change, and embracing the transitions

Life is full of changes and transitions. We move from one stage to the next, sometimes with ease and other times with great difficulty. I think that change is more difficult mentally than it is physically.

Take, for instance, returning to school after a long vacation.

The realization that you're actually going back doesn't come gradually. It hits you like a pie in the face, and it takes you by surprise when you're in the new location. You then might mention that it feels strange being back, but soon you'll fall into that regular routine and will forget that you ever knew any other sort.

Transitions are often harder than that, though. They can turn your world upside down, like when your beliefs and opinions are challenged.

A person can be told one point of view for their entire life and truly believe that is the only way to see issues. (They might be referred to as "naïve" or "ignorant".)

Then, suddenly, someone points out a serious flaw in their reasoning, or shares a point of view that makes more sense to them, or the person simply experiences the same view in a different light, and, once again, their world flips upside down. For instance, think about reading a scholarly journal and finding that the research disproves something you had always believed. Or if people who follow different religions come together to talk, resulting in one person walking away from the discussion, questioning everything that person had believed up until that point.

Some pick their faith back up easily. Some believe that, "ignorance is bliss," and will deny any counter-views and never part from their original belief.

Others have to spend time analyzing, thinking, talking to others, and forming their views, either into the same views as before or into a brand new set of ideals.

The rebuilding process can take as short or long a time as is needed by the person. This transition can be, and often is, some form of hell, either on the transition-er or on those surrounding that person.

But usually, in the end, everything turns out okay.

In 2010, my beliefs about love and relationships were challenged and changed.

A coworker and I were casually talking about how pessimistic I was about love after a bad breakup and how this attitude affected my day-to-day activities.

He said, “You seem like a really great person to me. You don’t have to worry about that stuff.”

I don’t think he’ll ever know how much those two sentences affected me.

It made me see the goodness in him, and I realized he was someone I could fall for. He looked at me in a way that made me feel like the prettiest girl in the room. And yet, I was calm, not jittery. I wasn’t confused or worried; I was just me. And it blew my mind that he fit perfectly into my “ridiculously high standard”.

There are actually people who fall into MY perfect category? It was encouraging.

I lose sight of this realization more often than I’d like to admit, and now it’s out there, on this blog, as a reminder for whenever I start to feel discouraged or convinced that he isn’t out there.

My mind can't help but focus on transition as I prepare for my move from California to Colorado.

I've committed to celebrate every change that comes my way during this time, making the transitions in my life a little bit easier (theoretically).

I'll continue to make my way through the long corridor that is life, and I will go through doors as I see them. The doors sometimes bring me back to the same corridors, but always with new insights.

And the corridor looks different and feels different each time I re-enter it, but it's all the same. My eyes open to fresh colors and fresh designs after learning something new.

It’s not that I change or am changing. On the contrary, I am innately who I am, and the insights help me see, better understand, and transition into my truest self.

This journey never ends, and once you embrace the journey, you’ll start feeling more confident, at peace, and happier. You must, though, be open-minded and keep searching and questioning; otherwise you won’t see the doors--the opportunities for personal development--that come your way.

"Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t take." --William Bridges

What will you do today to become more aware of the doors of opportunity that appear on your path? Read books, hold conversations, ask questions. I encourage you to try to say “yes” more and to listen attentively and respond (instead of react) to someone whose views differ from yours. If they’re not being respectful towards you, though, remember that it’s okay to walk away!